It's An Angry Summer
Nov. 11th, 2010 03:06 am[Written for
theredfeather for
girlsofspn. Title from Break Your Knees by Flyleaf.]
She never lied to him, not once. Withheld information, maybe. Deceived him, yes. It wasn't quite the same thing. Anyone could lie, fewer could lie well. Ruby didn't need to, and it was something she took pride in. Lucifer didn't lie; why should she? She could use those memories she still held, the thing in her she and every other demon hated, to identify with Sam in a way that was real, and it had to be real.
She still remembered what it was like to feel the kind of loss Sam felt. It wasn't just Dean, it was all the losses he'd suffered throughout his life.
Though the loss of a mother was the first to come, it was the loss of Jessica that really tore at him. Ruby had a similar experience—similar, but not altogether the same. Back in her day, not everyone got to choose their intended, and she was unlucky enough to be one of those who didn't. She spent several miserable years in a loveless marriage before an older woman with a special book came her way, offering to give her all the freedom she longed for. Of course, there was only one way out that didn't leave a woman desolate, and in love with the man or not, her husband had treated her well in their time together. The spell that killed him was the hardest thing she'd ever done at that point in her life, and she cried the whole way through; the next hardest was explaining to her son why Papa wasn't coming home ever again. It bought her freedom to live her own life—at least for a while.
Next came the plague, death that surrounded her like death had surrounded Sam, death that would eventually claim a family member or two. For him, it was a father, and a brother; for her, it was a son and a sister. She tried to save them just as much as he had tried to save Dean, but in the end, their family still died and they were left broken and alone.
Ruby had been doomed to Hell, but it would be better for him, she would make sure of it. Soon it would be better for everyone.
She never lied to him, not once. Withheld information, maybe. Deceived him, yes. It wasn't quite the same thing. Anyone could lie, fewer could lie well. Ruby didn't need to, and it was something she took pride in. Lucifer didn't lie; why should she? She could use those memories she still held, the thing in her she and every other demon hated, to identify with Sam in a way that was real, and it had to be real.
She still remembered what it was like to feel the kind of loss Sam felt. It wasn't just Dean, it was all the losses he'd suffered throughout his life.
Though the loss of a mother was the first to come, it was the loss of Jessica that really tore at him. Ruby had a similar experience—similar, but not altogether the same. Back in her day, not everyone got to choose their intended, and she was unlucky enough to be one of those who didn't. She spent several miserable years in a loveless marriage before an older woman with a special book came her way, offering to give her all the freedom she longed for. Of course, there was only one way out that didn't leave a woman desolate, and in love with the man or not, her husband had treated her well in their time together. The spell that killed him was the hardest thing she'd ever done at that point in her life, and she cried the whole way through; the next hardest was explaining to her son why Papa wasn't coming home ever again. It bought her freedom to live her own life—at least for a while.
Next came the plague, death that surrounded her like death had surrounded Sam, death that would eventually claim a family member or two. For him, it was a father, and a brother; for her, it was a son and a sister. She tried to save them just as much as he had tried to save Dean, but in the end, their family still died and they were left broken and alone.
Ruby had been doomed to Hell, but it would be better for him, she would make sure of it. Soon it would be better for everyone.
justprompts :: Damned
Jul. 18th, 2009 07:25 am[ooc: Hard, hard prompt to write, given my faith, but I felt such a prompt had to be done. Could be considered pre-canon, but written with Impostor in mind. Quoted text is from Ecclesiastes 3:1-2.]
Death. It came for everyone. The rich and the poor, the beautiful and the grotesque, the righteous and the wicked, whatever their plight, all would succumb.
"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die—"
It was not a truth she wished to hear, not now, not ever, and surely not from that Book. She had heard it over and over and over again these past few years. It tore at her mind like the thorns Christ had been crowned with on the day of His crucifixion, the day He supposedly gave His life for them all.
Ridiculous nonsense, she thought. If He cared, He would have stopped this. He would have prevented this constant state of mourning, held back this plague that was upon them. She certainly tried to do so with her family, but the words spoken over her younger sister told her she was failing. It was not her time to die. It should not have been.
For attempting what He refused to do, she would be punished. When death finally came for her, she would be damned to spend her eternity in His prison for her witchcraft. She wouldn't look forward to the horrors that awaited her, but if that was the kind of God He was, she thought it better to be where He was not.
Death. It came for everyone. The rich and the poor, the beautiful and the grotesque, the righteous and the wicked, whatever their plight, all would succumb.
"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die—"
It was not a truth she wished to hear, not now, not ever, and surely not from that Book. She had heard it over and over and over again these past few years. It tore at her mind like the thorns Christ had been crowned with on the day of His crucifixion, the day He supposedly gave His life for them all.
Ridiculous nonsense, she thought. If He cared, He would have stopped this. He would have prevented this constant state of mourning, held back this plague that was upon them. She certainly tried to do so with her family, but the words spoken over her younger sister told her she was failing. It was not her time to die. It should not have been.
For attempting what He refused to do, she would be punished. When death finally came for her, she would be damned to spend her eternity in His prison for her witchcraft. She wouldn't look forward to the horrors that awaited her, but if that was the kind of God He was, she thought it better to be where He was not.
Ruby hated being trapped. It wasn't just about the confinement of the here and now. She hadn't lied to Dean when she'd said she remembered being human. This was just one of the things that brought back those memories.
The pyres hadn't quite caught on until a good century later, but she still wasn't quite sure if those girls didn't get the better end of it all. Yeah, it had to hurt like hell in a very literal sense, but it was quick and a good number of them were innocent. Ruby was left to rot in a lonely, dirty cell for months, reminded of where she was going whenever she finally bit the big one. This was what it would be like for the rest of eternity: separation from a family she now couldn't even remember, all because she wanted to outlive whatever it was that had people dropping like flies.
Or maybe she'd been trying to save said family. That part was fuzzy.
She stared at Sam as he told the personnel of the sheriff's office that she was here to help. Yeah, sure, help, but first things first.
"Are you gonna let me out?"
She felt the relief wash over her as she watched Sam scrape away the paint, not that any of it showed on the outside.
"And they say chivalry's dead."
The pyres hadn't quite caught on until a good century later, but she still wasn't quite sure if those girls didn't get the better end of it all. Yeah, it had to hurt like hell in a very literal sense, but it was quick and a good number of them were innocent. Ruby was left to rot in a lonely, dirty cell for months, reminded of where she was going whenever she finally bit the big one. This was what it would be like for the rest of eternity: separation from a family she now couldn't even remember, all because she wanted to outlive whatever it was that had people dropping like flies.
Or maybe she'd been trying to save said family. That part was fuzzy.
She stared at Sam as he told the personnel of the sheriff's office that she was here to help. Yeah, sure, help, but first things first.
"Are you gonna let me out?"
She felt the relief wash over her as she watched Sam scrape away the paint, not that any of it showed on the outside.
"And they say chivalry's dead."